Big Bad Wolf
(The Little Red Riding Hood from The Wolf‘s Point of View)
As I wandered around the dark, thick, and rich mahogany woods that were oh so precious to that nasty choppers-men, I breathed in.
“Arghhhhhhh!” – I growled in hatred and hunger. My body was a starving, rumbling cauldron that had been aching, yearning for feed, but the only thing those disgusting humans left me here were those blasted berries.
I quietly snuck up to the outskirts of the human village and peered out of the concealing bushes. They hung around their fake skin on their ropes, completely carelessly and unsuspectedly. At that moment my whole body wanted to jump out and ravage them to bloody shreds. But I knew, yes, I knew that if I revealed myself so easily then the horrible leather-man would come for me with his long shoot-stick and that would be the end of me.
Sulkily, I turned back to the forest depths and started looking for berry-bushes. I took a smell. To my most unbelievably pleasant surprise, I sensed something else, far more attractive than berries, just down the yellowy shaded path. I looked out. And I saw… a human. A tinier one than the usual with a shiny red piece on its top. Oh, how scrumptious. Oh, how pretty. Oh, how deliciously lovely. I leapt out at the thing with blood and guts in my eyes and just as my gaping mouth was about to reach its head I noticed something it was holding.
“Well hello-o-o-o-w there, good morning.” – I said to the thing as I almost toppled off my feet, catching myself right before crushing the human with my hide.
“Hello, who are you?” – the red-topped human replied squeakily, with a butterfly voice.
“I…” I thought. “…Am the friendly, helpful, and not at all bloodthirsty Wolf.” I gulped in my softest, trickiest voice.
“I am Little Red Cap. I come from the village to bring my grandmother treats; for you see, she has gotten very sick, and unable to help herself.”
“Oh no, poor grandmother. Where does your grandmother live, oh sweet Little Red Cap?”
“She is in her hut just around the forest path next to three big oak trees.”
As I walked along with the tiny human I thought up a plan.
“Little Red Cap. It is quite blunt and silly of you going to your grandmother without special presents. Look at all these wonderful flowers! There are pinkies, red blooms, violet bells: it’s a blanket of rainbows…right over there, just across the path.”
“Oh how right you are, friendly wolf. Grandmother will be very pleased if I pick these flowers for her.”
As soon as the thing set her feet off the yellowy path I started and flew through the woods and to the hut. I found it fast. I peered into the window cautiously, and, sure enough I saw the fat, lumpy human lying helplessly in piles of fake skin.
“Tuk-tuk-tuk” I knocked.
“Who’s there?” – the creaky voice sounded like bear claws on wood.
“Just Little Red Cap bringing you treats. Open the door.”
“Come in then, the door is not locked.”
I crashed through the door and then swallowed the fat thing whole with my restless maw. My stomach churned with satisfaction and satiation. I threw up the smelly old fake skin of the plump human and disguised myself in it for the next part of my plan.
The stupid red girl won’t know a thing! I will eat her as well and she will be sweeter and fresher. I lay down and waited for the next meal to arrive…
“Good morning grandmother?”
Excited, I lie still. She walks up right to my jaws.
“Grandmother, what big ears you have!”
“The better to hear you with, my sweet.”
“What big eyes you have!”
“The better to see you with, my love.”
“What a big, big mouth you have!”
“The better to eat you.”
Speedily, I tore out of the fake skin and with a swing bit off the red-topped head of the human. After a gulp, I finished off the rest. Blood covered the ground. Plenty filled, I plopped down and snoozed off with a contented grin.
Lazily I woke up. And when I tried to get up…
“ARGHHHH”
My legs quivered but my body stayed, I could not move. It was as if I had a rock in my belly. Agonised, I thought to myself.
“What is going on??”
It ached once more, a rumbling cauldron too heavy to be lifted; too heavy to even stand…
“No, no, no!”
I breathed out.